Alphen, there are places in Calaglia that aren't as hot as your cooking.
I know you got this way because you couldn't feel pain before, but can you seriously still not tell it's too much compared to what Kisara or even Shionne makes?
But you aren't Iron Mask anymore. You're Alphen now! So maybe you need to work on ditching some of those Iron Mask habits of yours and start figuring out what Alphen likes.
That's enough! You're not fine and we never were. I'm a mass slaughterer and a pathetic excuse of a human being. Talk about a freak. Being the Sovereign will do that to you. I'm not the heroic knight everyone thought I was. Do you want to know how many people I've killed? There's way more skeletons in my closet than you could possibly even imagine.
Tell me what's really eating away at you. I'm not leaving until I hear an answer.
[ He's not even trying to deny who he is so all of Law's claims are more or less true. Alphen just wants a more honest discussion. Zephyr would have known what to do in this situation. It's a shame his time was cut short. ]
Then you should already get it, because we're both screw ups.
[Alphen knows better than anybody the life Law's had and the things he's been through.]
I've tried my damnedest to be better than I used to be. Thought I was passed everything that happened. But ever since coming here, I've been having nothing but nightmares. About... what happened in the past.
[Another pause.]
I know I've grown, but... It's hard to feel like it when your head keeps shoving your mistakes back in your face, you know?
[ For a while Alphen just doesn't respond. He needs time to process all of this and Law might need time as well. He carefully reads the page and thinks deeply about what he needs to say. ]
Law, believe me when I say you're not alone in this.
We're Dahnans. We were slaves.
Slaves don't get the right to choose damned if they do and damned if they don't. We were lucky to just be alive, but isn't that why we were fighting? So that things didn't have to stay that way? So that we might see a better tomorrow?
I still believe in the path that Zephyr left for us. As long as we follow him we won't lose our way. You're not weak.
You've come such a long way from when I first met you. You've really changed and you're making progress.
Are you home now? Maybe we should continue talking in person just like last time.
you're not giving me much of a choice here, are you?
[he knows how you are, Alphen. Stubborn, won't take no for an answer. Even if he said he didn't want to talk, you'd somehow find a way to get him to talk. ]
Yeah, I'm home. Taking a lunch break between training sessions.
[ Alphen comes home sooner than later. Not even five minutes would have passed before he returns. He shows up looking utterly exhausted with a worried expression. He's more concerned for Law's well being than himself at the moment. He doesn't care how tired he is or if he's in any pain. ]
Law.
[ He better be ready to get THE WOLRD'S SMELLIEST HUG. ]
[Law doesn't make an effort to hide from Alphen, or anything of the sort. In fact, he's waiting for him outside the house, leaning against the door frame.]
That's me, in the flesh.
[He gets off of the door frame, taking a few steps forward. He grips the back of his neck, squeezing his shoulder as he does so.]
That's fine, I'm just glad I could see you. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried.
[ He just wants to be there for Law. When Alphen speaks he sounds unusually tense. He grumbles under his voice being unable to hide his sigh. ]
Sorry if I seemed angry over the journals. Do you hate me?
[ Hate is a strong word and one that Law's more than familiar with. Alphen isn't exactly the hero people think he is and everything that Law said is accurate. They're both screw-ups. He doesn't have the right words for this situation. Zephyr would have known exactly what to say at a time like this. ]
Even though I'm the Sovereign and have skeletons in my closet? That hasn't scared you off yet.
[ Alphen really just wants Law to realize some things. He doesn't hate his friends and maybe it'd be nice if he could rely on them more too. ]
Guess what I'm trying to say is that it's okay if you don't have answers right away. I don't have anything figured out. We are just living our lives. Those lives don't belong to anyone else.
How bad are your nightmares?
[ The nightmares must be bad if it's keeping Law on edge like this. ]
[Law understands Alphen's point, but... it doesn't make things any easier for him. He needs the answers. He needs to know he's doing the right thing.]
...Sometimes I see my old friends. Sometimes it's my Mom. ...Sometimes, it's Dad. But it's always the same. People I couldn't save, or do anything at all to help... I see their faces in my nightmares, and I'm just reminded of how useless I was.
You're not useless, Law. You've already helped plenty of people by tearing down walls that were built up by the lords. Zephyr never once regretted fighting.
[ Alphen had an idea it might be something like this. Zephyr's death is still weighing on Law. That's hardly a surprise. What happened back in Cyslodia was tragic beyond words. Law's experienced nothing but pain for a long time. Alphen would know about some of it because he was right there when Zephyr passed away. ]
[Law trails off on his words there a bit. He'd never given his future much thought even back home, much less here.]
Back home, I just planned on following you to the ends of the earth, and then seeing where the road takes me after it's all over. But here? I don't really know what I want.
Why not come work with me in the smithy? We could use more help down there and you don't have to do anything too different.
[ He can just be himself. Law doesn't have to pretend to be something he's not. Alphen just wants to give him something to focus on while they're here. ]
I've got my hands full as it is. Having you around would really make things run more smoothly.
The Smithy? [Ah yes, that place Alphen seems to spend most of his non-training or home time at.]
Ehhh... I dunno. What would I even there? The sound of hammers clanging against steel is really kinda just your thing. [Does he try to mimic Alphen's voice when he said that part? Yes.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 06:54 pm (UTC)How about you run it by Kisara first? I'm sure she can find ways to cut back on your spice addiction without ruining the taste.
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Date: 2022-03-11 08:59 am (UTC)I've already cut back on spice before. Do you still think it's too much?
[ way too much. way TOO MUCH ]
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Date: 2022-03-14 03:01 am (UTC)I know you got this way because you couldn't feel pain before, but can you seriously still not tell it's too much compared to what Kisara or even Shionne makes?
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Date: 2022-03-14 08:03 am (UTC)It's really strange and I don't know how else to describe it. I was just some guy called Iron Mask until you and the others came around.
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Date: 2022-03-15 04:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-15 11:02 am (UTC)What about you? Have you come to terms with yourself?
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Date: 2022-03-15 06:02 pm (UTC)[Not something he'd feel comfortable admitting to most people, but it's different with Alphen.]
But hey, at least I don't wanna die in a ditch.
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Date: 2022-03-16 04:49 am (UTC)I know your dad's proud of you. It won't be easy moving past our losses and pain but we can be there for each other.
We're friends![ Law's probably heard that line before but Alphen will say it as many times as he needs to.]
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Date: 2022-03-20 11:15 pm (UTC)[And yet he still doesn't feel like he can burden his friends with his problems. Or maybe that he shouldn't.]
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Date: 2022-03-21 08:07 am (UTC)Law, if there's something still bothering you then you can tell us.
[ talk about your feelings more. sharing is CARING. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-23 01:15 am (UTC)Besides, you're one to talk. You've probably got more skeletons in your closet than a friggin' cryptkeeper after everything you've been through.
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Date: 2022-03-23 06:19 am (UTC)Tell me what's really eating away at you. I'm not leaving until I hear an answer.
[ He's not even trying to deny who he is so all of Law's claims are more or less true. Alphen just wants a more honest discussion. Zephyr would have known what to do in this situation. It's a shame his time was cut short. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-23 03:09 pm (UTC)Then you should already get it, because we're both screw ups.
[Alphen knows better than anybody the life Law's had and the things he's been through.]
I've tried my damnedest to be better than I used to be. Thought I was passed everything that happened. But ever since coming here, I've been having nothing but nightmares. About... what happened in the past.
[Another pause.]
I know I've grown, but... It's hard to feel like it when your head keeps shoving your mistakes back in your face, you know?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-23 05:15 pm (UTC)Law, believe me when I say you're not alone in this.
We're Dahnans. We were slaves.
Slaves don't get the right to choose damned if they do and damned if they don't. We were lucky to just be alive, but isn't that why we were fighting? So that things didn't have to stay that way? So that we might see a better tomorrow?
I still believe in the path that Zephyr left for us. As long as we follow him we won't lose our way. You're not weak.
You've come such a long way from when I first met you. You've really changed and you're making progress.
Are you home now? Maybe we should continue talking in person just like last time.
I'll listen to everything you want to say.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-23 08:31 pm (UTC)[he knows how you are, Alphen. Stubborn, won't take no for an answer. Even if he said he didn't want to talk, you'd somehow find a way to get him to talk. ]
Yeah, I'm home. Taking a lunch break between training sessions.
> action
Date: 2022-03-24 02:04 am (UTC)[ Alphen comes home sooner than later. Not even five minutes would have passed before he returns. He shows up looking utterly exhausted with a worried expression. He's more concerned for Law's well being than himself at the moment. He doesn't care how tired he is or if he's in any pain. ]
Law.
[ He better be ready to get THE WOLRD'S SMELLIEST HUG. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-24 03:52 am (UTC)That's me, in the flesh.
[He gets off of the door frame, taking a few steps forward. He grips the back of his neck, squeezing his shoulder as he does so.]
Can't promise I've got a lot to say right now.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-24 08:17 pm (UTC)[ He just wants to be there for Law. When Alphen speaks he sounds unusually tense. He grumbles under his voice being unable to hide his sigh. ]
Sorry if I seemed angry over the journals. Do you hate me?
[ Hate is a strong word and one that Law's more than familiar with. Alphen isn't exactly the hero people think he is and everything that Law said is accurate. They're both screw-ups. He doesn't have the right words for this situation. Zephyr would have known exactly what to say at a time like this. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-24 08:43 pm (UTC)Huh? I- what, no! Of course I don't hate you.
[Law sighs, he shifts his footing as he places his weight on his right foot, scratching his chest as he contemplates what in the world is going on. ]
Alphen, I don't think there's a single thing on the planet you could do that would make me hate you.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-25 12:36 am (UTC)[ Alphen really just wants Law to realize some things. He doesn't hate his friends and maybe it'd be nice if he could rely on them more too. ]
Guess what I'm trying to say is that it's okay if you don't have answers right away. I don't have anything figured out. We are just living our lives. Those lives don't belong to anyone else.
How bad are your nightmares?
[ The nightmares must be bad if it's keeping Law on edge like this. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-25 03:46 am (UTC)...Sometimes I see my old friends. Sometimes it's my Mom. ...Sometimes, it's Dad. But it's always the same. People I couldn't save, or do anything at all to help... I see their faces in my nightmares, and I'm just reminded of how useless I was.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-25 09:54 pm (UTC)[ Alphen had an idea it might be something like this. Zephyr's death is still weighing on Law. That's hardly a surprise. What happened back in Cyslodia was tragic beyond words. Law's experienced nothing but pain for a long time. Alphen would know about some of it because he was right there when Zephyr passed away. ]
What do you really want to do from here on out?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-28 03:59 pm (UTC)[Law trails off on his words there a bit. He'd never given his future much thought even back home, much less here.]
Back home, I just planned on following you to the ends of the earth, and then seeing where the road takes me after it's all over. But here? I don't really know what I want.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-28 06:05 pm (UTC)[ He can just be himself. Law doesn't have to pretend to be something he's not. Alphen just wants to give him something to focus on while they're here. ]
I've got my hands full as it is. Having you around would really make things run more smoothly.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-29 03:59 am (UTC)Ehhh... I dunno. What would I even there? The sound of hammers clanging against steel is really kinda just your thing. [Does he try to mimic Alphen's voice when he said that part? Yes.]
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