That's fine, I'm just glad I could see you. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried.
[ He just wants to be there for Law. When Alphen speaks he sounds unusually tense. He grumbles under his voice being unable to hide his sigh. ]
Sorry if I seemed angry over the journals. Do you hate me?
[ Hate is a strong word and one that Law's more than familiar with. Alphen isn't exactly the hero people think he is and everything that Law said is accurate. They're both screw-ups. He doesn't have the right words for this situation. Zephyr would have known exactly what to say at a time like this. ]
Even though I'm the Sovereign and have skeletons in my closet? That hasn't scared you off yet.
[ Alphen really just wants Law to realize some things. He doesn't hate his friends and maybe it'd be nice if he could rely on them more too. ]
Guess what I'm trying to say is that it's okay if you don't have answers right away. I don't have anything figured out. We are just living our lives. Those lives don't belong to anyone else.
How bad are your nightmares?
[ The nightmares must be bad if it's keeping Law on edge like this. ]
[Law understands Alphen's point, but... it doesn't make things any easier for him. He needs the answers. He needs to know he's doing the right thing.]
...Sometimes I see my old friends. Sometimes it's my Mom. ...Sometimes, it's Dad. But it's always the same. People I couldn't save, or do anything at all to help... I see their faces in my nightmares, and I'm just reminded of how useless I was.
You're not useless, Law. You've already helped plenty of people by tearing down walls that were built up by the lords. Zephyr never once regretted fighting.
[ Alphen had an idea it might be something like this. Zephyr's death is still weighing on Law. That's hardly a surprise. What happened back in Cyslodia was tragic beyond words. Law's experienced nothing but pain for a long time. Alphen would know about some of it because he was right there when Zephyr passed away. ]
[Law trails off on his words there a bit. He'd never given his future much thought even back home, much less here.]
Back home, I just planned on following you to the ends of the earth, and then seeing where the road takes me after it's all over. But here? I don't really know what I want.
Why not come work with me in the smithy? We could use more help down there and you don't have to do anything too different.
[ He can just be himself. Law doesn't have to pretend to be something he's not. Alphen just wants to give him something to focus on while they're here. ]
I've got my hands full as it is. Having you around would really make things run more smoothly.
The Smithy? [Ah yes, that place Alphen seems to spend most of his non-training or home time at.]
Ehhh... I dunno. What would I even there? The sound of hammers clanging against steel is really kinda just your thing. [Does he try to mimic Alphen's voice when he said that part? Yes.]
Even knowing how to swing a weapon can help with development. You can always start learning. I didn't know a thing about making weapons until I started hacking away at them.
[ he can have wolves on his gauntlets with the power of dreamotion, if that's what he wants. ]
As long as we're here we have opportunities. Take time to decide what you really want to do.
[Law quirks an eyebrow at what Alphen says there. Would his dad have known exactly what to do? Law's not so sure about that. Zephyr was an admirable guy that a lot of people looked up to, but he wasn't some wise, all-knowing leader. He had a lot of flaws. A lot of flaws. Flaws that ruined lives.
But, he lets it pass.]
Nah, man. You've done a lot for me. I can't expect you to always have the perfect answers for me.
You got here with your own strength, Law. I didn't do much.
[ Alphen grits his teeth and quietly clenches his fists tightly. He hates not being able to do more for the people he cares about. Law is important to Alphen too and this is the best he can manage? He just thinks of himself as insufferable and the worst kind of person. Back then he couldn't bear to leave Zephyr's son behind. ]
Using your strength to protect the ones you care about is really what makes a difference. As long as we fight for the right reasons we can keep on moving.
[ Maybe there is no perfect answer but they can build a new answer together. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-03-24 08:17 pm (UTC)[ He just wants to be there for Law. When Alphen speaks he sounds unusually tense. He grumbles under his voice being unable to hide his sigh. ]
Sorry if I seemed angry over the journals. Do you hate me?
[ Hate is a strong word and one that Law's more than familiar with. Alphen isn't exactly the hero people think he is and everything that Law said is accurate. They're both screw-ups. He doesn't have the right words for this situation. Zephyr would have known exactly what to say at a time like this. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-24 08:43 pm (UTC)Huh? I- what, no! Of course I don't hate you.
[Law sighs, he shifts his footing as he places his weight on his right foot, scratching his chest as he contemplates what in the world is going on. ]
Alphen, I don't think there's a single thing on the planet you could do that would make me hate you.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-25 12:36 am (UTC)[ Alphen really just wants Law to realize some things. He doesn't hate his friends and maybe it'd be nice if he could rely on them more too. ]
Guess what I'm trying to say is that it's okay if you don't have answers right away. I don't have anything figured out. We are just living our lives. Those lives don't belong to anyone else.
How bad are your nightmares?
[ The nightmares must be bad if it's keeping Law on edge like this. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-25 03:46 am (UTC)...Sometimes I see my old friends. Sometimes it's my Mom. ...Sometimes, it's Dad. But it's always the same. People I couldn't save, or do anything at all to help... I see their faces in my nightmares, and I'm just reminded of how useless I was.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-25 09:54 pm (UTC)[ Alphen had an idea it might be something like this. Zephyr's death is still weighing on Law. That's hardly a surprise. What happened back in Cyslodia was tragic beyond words. Law's experienced nothing but pain for a long time. Alphen would know about some of it because he was right there when Zephyr passed away. ]
What do you really want to do from here on out?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-28 03:59 pm (UTC)[Law trails off on his words there a bit. He'd never given his future much thought even back home, much less here.]
Back home, I just planned on following you to the ends of the earth, and then seeing where the road takes me after it's all over. But here? I don't really know what I want.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-28 06:05 pm (UTC)[ He can just be himself. Law doesn't have to pretend to be something he's not. Alphen just wants to give him something to focus on while they're here. ]
I've got my hands full as it is. Having you around would really make things run more smoothly.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-29 03:59 am (UTC)Ehhh... I dunno. What would I even there? The sound of hammers clanging against steel is really kinda just your thing. [Does he try to mimic Alphen's voice when he said that part? Yes.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-29 03:38 pm (UTC)You could help develop weapons and armor. If we don't take care of our equipment then we won't be in good shape for a real fight.
How would you feel about getting a new pair of Gauntlets?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-30 03:39 am (UTC)[He's already trying to envision what a super cool new pair of gauntlets would be like. ]
Still, man... I don't know the first thing about weapon making. All I'm really good for is punching stuff.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-31 12:40 am (UTC)[ he can have wolves on his gauntlets with the power of dreamotion, if that's what he wants. ]
As long as we're here we have opportunities. Take time to decide what you really want to do.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-06 11:55 pm (UTC)Alright, fine, you got me, I'll give it a shot. Worse that can happen is I don't like it, right?
no subject
Date: 2022-04-07 06:15 am (UTC)[ Alphen thinks he isn't doing anything particularly note worthy. It's not nearly enough. ]
This is the best I can manage for now. We'll work hard to make Zephyr proud.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-11 03:51 am (UTC)But, he lets it pass.]
Nah, man. You've done a lot for me. I can't expect you to always have the perfect answers for me.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-12 12:38 am (UTC)[ Alphen grits his teeth and quietly clenches his fists tightly. He hates not being able to do more for the people he cares about. Law is important to Alphen too and this is the best he can manage? He just thinks of himself as insufferable and the worst kind of person. Back then he couldn't bear to leave Zephyr's son behind. ]
Using your strength to protect the ones you care about is really what makes a difference. As long as we fight for the right reasons we can keep on moving.
[ Maybe there is no perfect answer but they can build a new answer together. ]